A Solemn Vow
by McFadden
Summary: King Baldwin IV holds a secret that is worth dying for.


**A Solemn Vow**

It was much too quiet, even the colorful peacocks stayed silent as the night wore on. It seemed that the whole kingdom had heard the news of their gracious king, and out of respect, decided to keep mute for the evening. The palace itself never seized to amaze Ophelia. After all these years, she could still sense the magic this place held over her. The stymy aromatic breeze turned cool as it touched her skin. Its hush was filled with the silent lull of prayers being chanted into the wind. Mournful and so appropriate considering her position.

Baldwin; the King of Jerusalem, and her dear friend, had taken a turn for the worst. The leprosy was progressing. He was dying slowly and without a single thread of mercy that he deserved. It was when she thought of this that Ophelia questioned the compassion of God. _How can he not protect an angel who had shown infinite mercy on those who were not worthy of such kindness?_

Although, Ophelia was certain that if Baldwin himself knew the thoughts that passed through her mind, he would definitely chide her for it. But she did not possess the grace that he held, therefore was often plagued with these selfish questions. And now, standing outside of the corridors, she wasn't sure if she had fully prepared for what was about to come. Three years of written letters couldn't possibly make up for the time that was lost to them now.

In the halls, her somber steps fell still on the elaborate tile that stretched far and reflected the image-opposite of the gilded ceiling above. The ominous doors were now looming in the distance. Next to them was the outline of a slightly hunched figure that reached out and grabbed her hand when Ophelia walked closer. There was no mistaking that the gentle touch belonged to Sybilla. Between the two of them, the features were the same. Eyes large and pale, one set of blue and the other, green. Sybilla spoke, her voice clearly broken from emotion.

"I was worried that Tiberias hadn't been able to reach you this time. He said how your village was scattered now on the outskirts of the kingdom."

With her own voice giving way to the tightness in her throat, Ophelia replied hoarsely.

"We were, but you know that I'd come to your brother even if it meant that I'd be fitted for a noose by dawn. Tiberias has risked enough already to get me here tonight."

Sybilla closed her eyes.

"I'm grateful to God that death is not the consequence for you. I do know there are reasons for the absence that neither of us could've lifted til now, but I hope that God will see to it that my brother has his final moments of happiness. He's been calling out for you in his fevered dreams."

Ophelia went rigid from the thought of him suffering for her. She posed a question she knew there was no happy answer to, but she needed to know before she saw him again.

"How bad is it?"

Sybilla let her silence speak for her. That was all Ophelia needed to understand. But before she could enter, Sybilla's hand squeezed hers once more.

"You were his only one, you know that. He always loved you more than anything in this Kingdom."

Ophelia kissed the princess's cheek before slowly opening the heavy door as to not cause a sound. Sybilla didn't follow, she knew their time together must be spent alone.

Whips of incense moved in foggy strands like ghosts. The room was veiled in sheer, gauzy curtains. Beyond their fluttering softness, Ophelia knew the young king laid. Two steps more and she stopped as her eyes iced over in tears. Making their shimmer in the moonlight, catching the attention of a shadow. Suddenly from its depths came a gentle and disbelieving voice.

"Even when my sight was failing me, I could still see how beautiful you were. It's comforting to know that it still holds true in the darkness."

Those words anchored by his labored breathing were what did her in as the tears finally found their way to her cheeks. Her body shook at the sound. It was just as she left it, only perhaps softer, if that was possible, and unmistakably tinged with years of sorrow.

"Please, come closer to me."

It wasn't a king who spoke, it was a boy, begging for her to be nearer to him. Without the slightest hesitation, Ophelia went to his side and a gloved hand raised to meet her and delicately remove the stray hair from her head. His fingers sliding down to cast away the tears from her face. Ophelia reached up for his hand and brought it to her lips. Kissing it lightly, over and over again. The king let a soft sigh escape from him with his voice.

"Now_ that_, I remember."

She could envision him smiling at her from beneath the silver mask. With a shaky breath, she at last spoke to him.

"I've missed you so much Baldwin."

He closed his eyes in reverie, letting the full weight of her voice envelope him with its meaning. Only she, besides his sister, had ever called him by his given name since he was crowned king. Yet it had not forgotten the way it made him feel to hear her say it. He was a man in that moment. Not a noble, a King, or even a leper. He felt purely human again.

And I, you. My beautiful Lady Ophelia."

His eyes told her everything he couldn't say for fear of losing himself to his emotions. She looked upon him again, upon the intricate silver mask that he wore. Even in the final hours before sleep. She had memorized every line in that mask; and once, long ago, the handsome face beneath it. This was not only because she had known him before he became ill, but mostly because she had been the one who made it for him. The delicate features of his face were etched forever into the precious and dammed metal, right down to the small hairs that angled his chin in exquisite form. She vowed to make it just the way she saw him. Strong yet beautiful, and intricate places for him to look throw so that everyone can see the eyes that mirrored glass. Cutting through her thought, a shy tint colored Baldwin's tone.

"There I go again, losing my voice infront of you. I garner the ability to speak infront of a hundred thousand men and have no hesitation at all in what I say. For my words will undoubtedly move them. but place me in your presence, and I am struck silent. With so much fear, that nothing I could say will ever move you the way you've moved me."

Her eyes cast aside, knowing that his worry was unended.

"You _must_ be able to see how much you affect me..."

The King then saw that she was on the edge of tears so he lightly touched her hand do that she would look at him.

"Your eyes do betray you sometimes..."

His finger traced over her lips quietly and he sighed again audibly a longing attached to it. Ophelia smiled at him and bent down further to kiss his covered mouth, lingering there for a moment to make a memory of it. The King leaned into her touch, bringing his hand up to cradle her face to his. Knowing inside himself that the kiss wasn't one of pity or sadness. Ophelia always did as she felt needed. Nothing was ever forced when she was around him. Baldwin smiled again, a little tease evident in his voice when he spoke.

"I felt that."

Ophelia laughed quietly when she saw the playfulness in his eyes. She suddenly felt sorry for the people who could never see past their fear and look at him the way she did. He was still very much a boy beyond his already wise years.

"When I get frustrated with my acute loss of feeling, I think of all the stolen moments we had together and my whole body shivers. I swear it..."

Tears slipped through his dark lashes and she suddenly wished more than anything that she could remove that mask and kiss him. Knowing better of it, Ophelia decided to observe him quietly for a while to see if she could catch any subtle changes over the years. None were visible, but she was sure that beneath the silks and dressings, the leprosy had taken a certain toll on his beautiful body. It seemed as though he was intent on doing the same thing to her as she watched his eyes travel over her then settle softly in their concern on her own.

"What is it?"

She smiled and stilled his worry with a comforting hand.

"I was just thinking of our first kiss. Do you remember?"

Baldwin sighed wistfully and shifted so that he could get a better look of her. His mask tilted slightly.

"How could I forget, Love..."

Indeed he hadn't forgotten. She could see that plainly. He hadn't forgotten that or many other things as well. They were all still fresh in his mind and very evident in his eyes. So much so, that it caused Ophelia to blush. The King's knuckles brushed over her cheek as if to make his point clear. Regaining her composure from the sway he still held on her, she spoke, albeit shyly at first.

"You were thirteen, just a fortnight before they crowned you..."

The King smiled at the memory and recalled it himself.

"...You had been running around the whole palace, filling the corridors with your laughter while chasing Sybilla. You made a wrong turn somewhere and ran right into this very chamber by accident. There was the brightest smile on your face when you realized where you were. The servants and guards were flustered by you because they were supposed to have everyone kneel on my behalf before being aloud to enter. Not you though, you looked at them furiously offended and told them that you never did it before and you weren't going to start then..."

He laughed openly before continuing.

"...And then, like a burning bolt of lightning, you wrapped my arms around you and kissed me right infront of all of them."

At the mention of this Ophelia just smiled triumphantly, not sorry at all for her actions back then. She remembered the looks on their faces. She also knew that there was nothing they could really do to stop her. The face she loved the most was his. Eyebrows raised, a devilish smirk forming on his swollen lips. No, she would never apologize for that.

"I had my eyes set on you long before that my Young Prince."

Going silent, Baldwin nearly wept when he heard her use his childhood pet name she had for him. It had been so long since he heard it last.

"Ages before, when I saw you in the courtyard waiting for Sybilla one afternoon, there was something in the way you said hello to me that day. I remember your hair being streaked by the sun and hanging in your eyes. Those eyes winked at me and I was completely taken with you."

Ophelia paused and studied her gentle King as he stared into her with a flicker of lust in his gaze.

"And you are completely mine..."

The electricity was still held between them as his hand threaded lightly in her hair that was loose and flowing. The way he loved it. He pulled her close to him until her cheek rested on his silver one. His breathing was more audible now that his mouth was hovering close to her ear, sending chills down her spine when he whispered throatily to her. The weakness in his voice before, all but vanishing now.

"If seconds are all that I can afford; then forgive me, but I'll take them without another passing thought in selfishness."

Ophelia's hand rest on his tunic where the base of his neck met his still broad shoulders. This was one spot she that, last she knew, hadn't lost feeling and wasn't pocked with blisters. Carefully lifting the covering there, Ophelia blew a light breath across the still flawless skin. She knew that he felt it because it came with an instant reaction of a hitch in Baldwin's throat, followed by an ever so light moan. After so long of being numb, he couldn't restrain himself from that sort of reaction. He quickly held her hand and searched her fingers, finding them adored with one blood red, cresting stone. Thumbing it lightly, he whispered.

"Tiberias should have never sent you away. We would've kept you safe here."

Ophelia's brows creased sadly and she hushed him soothingly.

"Tiberias did only what he must. No one was at fault, least of all you. I would've written you forever if that meant that at least you knew I was breathing. I place no patience on ceremony, you know that. Time is too precious and I have spent more of it than I'm willing to bear, without you."

The King tilted his mask in an awed fashion, struck by her words and then just nodded quietly.

"You're right, only God knows what would've happened if Tiberias hadn't found that small village. It meant you were safe. I could live with my loneliness and help shield my sister's grief if that meant that you were safe. Otherwise my secret would be just as good as the blood spilt on this land. It would be tragic and surely have the same fate as my own soul. What matters now is that you are here."

He placed her hand on his chest and she felt his heartbeat pushing gently against her palm. Ophelia bit her lip against her own tears as she stared into those bright blue eyes.

"You are such a beautiful saint, My Lord."

Baldwin's eyes drifted closed when he realized she used _are _instead of _were, _and what was more heartbreaking to him was the fact he knew she actually meant it. She was different then Sybilla. His sister loved him, yes, but she had accepted him for what he was because he was her brother. But Ophelia, she chose to stay even after she learned the grim reality of his shortening years. When she looked at him, she never saw a monster like everyone else. She just saw him. Ophelia sensed the inner turmoil he was fighting with and decided to quiet it.

"If you keep promise to stay with me even when I can't see you anymore, then we will be together for all eternity."

He relaxed slightly but his eyes held the conviction of his answer.

"I still do and I always will."

She moved herself to lay next to him. Not fearing his sickness in the least. She felt his armed, still retaining their strength, wrap around her with their heavy gauze.

"I can still see the man I am in love with."

Breaths passed and Ophelia saw tears visible in his eyes. He finally replied in a tearful breath.

"And I can still feel the woman my heart cannot live without."

His face rested on her shoulder as his breathing began to even out. Right before sleep took him over, Ophelia heard him whisper.

"You will always be my Queen of Jerusalem. That is my solemn vow and secret I will die for."


End file.
